Laws
LAWS OF THE NATURALLY UNNATURAL
Kat's Law of Ex Boyfriends 1
Just when you think they won't be there, there they are.
Universal Law of Ex Boyfriends 2
The amount of cute they are is directly proportional to how badly they fu-ked up.
Kat's Law of Ex Boyfriends 3
The amount of cute they are is directly proportional to how much of a slut they are.
Universal Law of Ex Boyfriends 4
The amount you look like hammered shit is directly proportional to the likelihood that they will appear.
Universal Law of Ex Boyfriends 5
The amount you don't want to bump into them is inversely proportional to the amount you will bump into them.
Emz's Law of Ex Boyfriends 6
The amount you don't care about them is directly proportional to the amount of coming on to you they will do.
Ems's Law of Ex Boyfriends 7
The amount of things you thought you had in common with them is directly proportional to the amount of weirdo facts you find out later.
Ems's Law of Ex Boyfriends 8
The chances of you seeing them when you are with another, better-looking guy, is inversely proportional to the chances of you seeing them with some blonde vancant bint.
Universal Law of Ex Boyfriends 9
The amount of time you spend after talking to an ex thinking up witty replies you could have made is directly proportional to the time you actually spent babbling on like a Hilton sister.
Kat's Law of Ex Boyfriends 10
The amount of weight you put on after the breakup is directly proprtional to how often they will catch sight of you in a wetsuit/bikini/tight jeans.
Ems's Law of Ex Boyfriends 11
The amount of anger you feel when they 'want to be friends' is directly proportional to the amount of times you remember them asking you to sit on their face.
Emz's Law of Ex Boyfriends 12
The amount you want to talk to them about it is inversly proportional to the amount they will say anything satisfactory back.
Kat's Law of Ex Boyfriends 13
The amount you think you are ready for anything they might say to you is directly proportional to the amount they will render you speechless with something totally unexpected.
Universal Law of Ex Boyfriends 14
The amount you even consider going there again is directly proportional to how much you will get trampled on. Again.
Universal Law of Ex Boyfriends 15
The amount you blame yourself, think you are worthless and get upset over them is inversly proprtional to how much they are worth the time (and how much time they spend thinking about how much they hurt you).
Bridget: Resolution #1: uggg - will obviously lose 20 lbs. #2: always put last night's panties in the laundry basket. Equally important: will find nice sensible boyfriend and stop forming romantic attachments to any of the following: alcoholics, workoholics, *sexaholics*, *commitment-phobics*, peeping toms, megalomaniacs, *emotional fuckwits*, or perverts. Will especially stop fantasizing about a particular person who embodies all these things.
xxxx kat
Currently going viral…direct result of SUCH a fun morning this morning, honestly what's going on?!
And yes, I actually have done lots of work as well ;-)
Kat's Law of Ex Boyfriends 1
Just when you think they won't be there, there they are.
Universal Law of Ex Boyfriends 2
The amount of cute they are is directly proportional to how badly they fu-ked up.
Kat's Law of Ex Boyfriends 3
The amount of cute they are is directly proportional to how much of a slut they are.
Universal Law of Ex Boyfriends 4
The amount you look like hammered shit is directly proportional to the likelihood that they will appear.
Universal Law of Ex Boyfriends 5
The amount you don't want to bump into them is inversely proportional to the amount you will bump into them.
Emz's Law of Ex Boyfriends 6
The amount you don't care about them is directly proportional to the amount of coming on to you they will do.
Ems's Law of Ex Boyfriends 7
The amount of things you thought you had in common with them is directly proportional to the amount of weirdo facts you find out later.
Ems's Law of Ex Boyfriends 8
The chances of you seeing them when you are with another, better-looking guy, is inversely proportional to the chances of you seeing them with some blonde vancant bint.
Universal Law of Ex Boyfriends 9
The amount of time you spend after talking to an ex thinking up witty replies you could have made is directly proportional to the time you actually spent babbling on like a Hilton sister.
Kat's Law of Ex Boyfriends 10
The amount of weight you put on after the breakup is directly proprtional to how often they will catch sight of you in a wetsuit/bikini/tight jeans.
Ems's Law of Ex Boyfriends 11
The amount of anger you feel when they 'want to be friends' is directly proportional to the amount of times you remember them asking you to sit on their face.
Emz's Law of Ex Boyfriends 12
The amount you want to talk to them about it is inversly proportional to the amount they will say anything satisfactory back.
Kat's Law of Ex Boyfriends 13
The amount you think you are ready for anything they might say to you is directly proportional to the amount they will render you speechless with something totally unexpected.
Universal Law of Ex Boyfriends 14
The amount you even consider going there again is directly proportional to how much you will get trampled on. Again.
Universal Law of Ex Boyfriends 15
The amount you blame yourself, think you are worthless and get upset over them is inversly proprtional to how much they are worth the time (and how much time they spend thinking about how much they hurt you).
Bridget: Resolution #1: uggg - will obviously lose 20 lbs. #2: always put last night's panties in the laundry basket. Equally important: will find nice sensible boyfriend and stop forming romantic attachments to any of the following: alcoholics, workoholics, *sexaholics*, *commitment-phobics*, peeping toms, megalomaniacs, *emotional fuckwits*, or perverts. Will especially stop fantasizing about a particular person who embodies all these things.
xxxx kat
Currently going viral…direct result of SUCH a fun morning this morning, honestly what's going on?!
And yes, I actually have done lots of work as well ;-)
posted by surfergrl at 3:43 PM
1 Comments:
Wow. Did you come up with all of these? Pretty amazing list. I can fit my ex into several of these. Though I have to admit, I can fit myself into even more unfortunately. But hey...
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